Yesterday my post was geared toward the healthy writing relationships. The ones that uplift you. Of course, not all writing friendships and/or associations are like this.
Signs you may need to chew your writing hand to get away from this person:
1. They are move in love with the idea of being a writer than actually writing.
You've met this person before. They could have even gone to a big, expensive conference. Every year they will pitch the same unfinished manuscript. They might be the one to sit next to you at your writerly meeting, asking “what's the trick to finishing an manuscript” You may have the same answer every time “Butt in Chair”. Or you just sandwich yourself between two other people to get away from said “writer”.
2. The first person to cheer you on and then tell you why YOU made a bad writing move.
Ex: You sell. They congratulate and then tell you how bad that publisher is.
Ex: You get a request to send a full. Their reply: “Congrats, but I decided not to query that agent. I've heard things about them.
Ex: You finally get a CP you are comfortable with, who loves your voice, but will tell you when you've strayed. Their reply: “Are you sure they won't steal your idea. That's why I don't have a CP.”
3. Any helpful advice starting with “ Such-N-Such genre is dead. You should write “fill-in-blank with-whatever-is-selling-hot-at-the-moment.
The CP that changes the books they send to you, but each one is the same just with different character names.
Ex: Roger meets Samantha. Samantha is in a relationship with Bob. She's conflicted because she has the hots for Roger.
Example of Next Book: Charlie meets Lynette. Lynette is in a relationship with Donovan. She's conflicted because she has the hots for Roger.
Example of Third Book CP sends to you: Michael meets Gabriel. Gabriel is in a relationship with Chuck. She's conflicted because she has the hots for Michael.
I could go on about these toxic relationships, but I'd rather know if you have ever chewed off your writing hand.
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4 comments:
Luckily, I still have my writing hand. I have sensed some envy / jealousy / bitterness / lack of forward motion among critique group and workshop participants. Haven't had to chew my hand off yet.
I have sensed some envy / jealousy / bitterness / lack of forward motion among critique group and workshop participants.
You're a lucky individual if you never experienced it. I think what most people forget is how small the publishing world really is.
Glad you stil have both hands. Typing would get interesting.
You know what really kills me? Is those folks who've been "writing" for like 20 years but never finish a book. I know that was kind of your number one but it really drives me insane. Mean maybe but I have healthy sense of self-preservation and i've done my best to distance myself from toxic writers.
Sadly, it's not always easy. Some writers are toxic in another way--constantly negative, very talented and unable to catch a break. Thus the constant negativity. It's hard when you love someone who's basically a good person because they can really wear you down.
It's hard when you love someone who's basically a good person because they can really wear you down.
Toxic is toxic no matter how much you love a person. Weigh how important that relationship is you to. If they are a real friend you shouldn't be afraid to tell them, "Look you are depressing the s#$t out me, here."
You might be surprised at how that conversation may go. Might go good or bad, but at least you are not welcoming that negativity with open arms.
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